In my weekly conversations with young people, the topic of the difference between men and women from a Torah perspective has been coming up frequently and repeatedly lately. While it's a complex subject that requires in-depth analysis (beyond the scope of a small publishing house), I believe it's worthwhile to at least explain the basis of this difference.
Women complain that Judaism is sexist because it proposes a series of precepts that only men should observe, such as Tefillin, Tzitzit, reading the Torah in the synagogue, etc., while women are "confined" to the home to be "servants"—that is, all the fun is done by men, while the dirty work is done by women. What a sexist religion!
However, when we look more deeply we will be able to see that the Torah proposes a specific role for women and one for men that are simply different, not one better than the other, and that, as emerges from several stories in the Talmud, women have a certain power that men do not have.
In general, the woman is "the foundation of the house." In fact, she is the one who transmits Judaism at birth, since a son or daughter born to a Jewish mother is Jewish, while the man transmits membership in a subset of the Jewish people, such as Cohen, Levi, and Israel.
In other words, Judaism in its most essential and pure form, without limitations or particular characteristics, depends on the woman, while the form that Judaism takes, according to the spiritual level and the particular tribe, depends on the man. In practice, we see this in daily life, as the general conduct of the household depends on the woman, while the progress of the children in Torah study depends on the man. These two roles are complementary and both necessary.
In a child's most vulnerable days, from birth onward, there is a much deeper bond with the mother than with the father. This reflects the fact that it is the woman who has the capacity to care for and provide for the child's needs, not the man.
For this very reason, the Torah exempts women from a great many obligations, so they can have the free time to fully develop their abilities. Men, on the other hand, lacking the capacity to nurture children and therefore being the breadwinners, are forced to confront and cope with their environment, placing them in a much more vulnerable position. Men must go out into the world and society, where they encounter values contrary to the Torah, and they need additional protection to avoid straying. Therefore, the Torah places tzitzit upon them to remind them of the 613 commandments, commands them to pray three times a day, commands them to study whenever they have free time, and so on, in order to keep them within the proper environment despite being surrounded by undesirable things.
This does not mean that a woman should not leave the house because she lacks the necessary protection. Because of the nature God instilled in women, she does not need the additional protection of the Torah.
In addition to this, our sages tell of a woman who, because of her merit of being modest even within her home (tzniut in Hebrew), had the merit of having sons who were Kohanim Gedolim - High Priests.
This story shows that a woman's influence on the family extends even to the children when they are grown, not just when they are babies. It is precisely the woman who, through her good behavior, gives her children (and her husband) the means to have peace in the home, health, and abundant sustenance.
So, is Judaism sexist? No! Is it feminist? No! Each has a different role, for which God gives them the necessary ability to fulfill that role correctly and, between the two, form an eternal edifice in the Jewish people and raise a "generation of righteous people.".
Incidentally, in preparation for the festival of Shavuot, the Giving of the Torah, our sages recount that God spoke first to the women and then to the men... I never heard any man complain about it...
May we receive the Torah with joy and internalize it for daily practice.