The conversation
A couple went to listen to the advice of a great rabbi.
The woman complained that her husband didn't pay attention when she spoke. The rabbi asked her why she thought that, and she replied that when she spoke, her husband was busy with other matters, and no matter how much she insisted that he pay attention, he always said, "I'm listening, you can continue speaking.".
The rabbi investigated and discovered that the husband was a taxi driver. He talked to his passengers all day without looking at them, as he needed to concentrate on the road. Therefore, he didn't consider it wrong to talk to his wife while doing something else.
After a talk with the rabbi, the husband understood the difference between the conversations he had with his passengers and those he should have with his wife.
It is necessary to create an environment that provides the ideal conditions for dialogue. Conversation flows much better when we can face our interlocutor.
Marriage
Although the first precept that God gives to man is "multiply and be fruitful" - to have children - the goal of marriage does not end with the birth of a child.
This event should be approached in such a way that it constitutes a family in which children can be raised and educated as individuals capable of fulfilling their own spiritual and human destiny.
Much of what a person is is shaped by their parents. When parents are successful, they can raise people better than themselves. This is why the purpose of a family is not only to meet the basic needs of love, reproduction, and raising children, but also to foster the development of the individual and, on a larger scale, the development of all humanity to reach its full potential.
Marriage is a mysterious force that calls man and woman to unite in society to build a home where God can feel welcome.
The approach
Generally, what brings people together is their needs. Each person seeks in their neighbor what they lack. However, that is not the highest level of human relationship, especially when it comes to marriage.
The Song of Songs says, "I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine." One way to understand this phrase is that the supreme concern of a spouse should be to meet the needs of the other.
A healthy relationship involves taking into account and respecting the other person's position; a further step is putting the other person's needs first and then your own.
Putting this into practice requires a constant effort to become aware of the importance of others, to respect and love them, and to understand their particular situation, abilities, virtues, and shortcomings. However, the first step is learning to focus on others, and not so much on oneself.