Baruch Hashem
5 Nisan, 5735 (March 17, 1975)
Brooklyn, NY
Mrs. Rose Goldfield
13 Yam Suf
Ramat Eshkol, Yerushalaim
Blessings and greetings,
I received your letter, and I trust that you received my greetings through your brother, Reb Zalman, who was here for the observance of the 10th of Shvat.
I must reiterate what was said when you were here regarding bitajon (trust) in God, that everything He does is for the best. It is not easy to accept the passing of someone close and dear; but since our Torah, which is called Torat Chesed and Torat Chaim (the Torah of Kindness and the Torah of Life), our guide in life, sets limits on periods of mourning, it is clear that when the period ends, it is not good to prolong it—not only because it causes disturbances in the life that must continue here on earth, but also because it brings no pleasure to the soul that is in the World of Truth.
Another point that I believe I mentioned during our conversation, but apparently not with sufficient emphasis from your letter, is this: it would be contrary to simple common sense to assume that an illness, or accident, and such cases, can affect the soul, because such physical things affect only the physical body and its connection to the soul, but certainly not the soul itself. It is also obvious that the relationship between parents and children is, in essence and content, a spiritual one, transcending time and space—a relationship of qualities not subject to the influence of a bodily accident, illness, etc.
It is understood that when a loved one passes away, by God's will, those left behind can no longer see with their eyes or hear with their ears; but the soul, in the World of Truth, can see and hear. And when it sees that relatives are deeply affected by their physical absence, it grieves; and, conversely, when it sees that after the mourning period prescribed by the Torah, a normal and productive life is resumed, it can rest peacefully and happily.
It goes without saying that for what has been explained to be accepted not only intellectually but also truly implemented in daily life, it is necessary to be occupied, preferably involved, with matters of personal interest and gratification. As I also mentioned in our conversation, every Jew has an extremely rewarding and edifying task of spreading light in the world by promoting Yiddishkait (Judaism). Particularly, as in your case, one can be of great help and inspiration to children and grandchildren who seek you and your husband out for encouragement, wisdom, and so on.
Here is also an answer to your question, what you can do for the soul of your loved one. Spread Yiddish around her effectively, showing simple Yiddish faith in God and His benevolent Providence, doing all the good work that needs to be done with confidence and peace of mind—this is what truly gratifies the soul in the Olam HaEmet (World of Truth), in addition to fulfilling her most important and personal mission in life of being a daughter of our Mothers, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah, and thus also serving as an inspiring example for others to emulate.
I could elaborate on the above, but knowing your family's history and traditions, I trust that what I've mentioned will suffice. I might add, however, that one should be aware of the yetzer hara (evil inclination), which is very cunning and knows that certain people cannot be confronted openly and without disguise. So it tries to deceive them by cloaking itself in piety and emotionalism, etc., saying, "You know, God has prescribed a period of mourning, which shows that it is the right thing to do; so why not do more and extend the period?" In this way, it may have a chance of succeeding in distracting the person from the fact that at the end of the aforementioned period, the Torah requires the Jew to serve God joyfully. The yetzer hara will still impel the person to give tzedakah (charity) in memory of the soul, study Torah, and perform mitzvot in memory of the soul, except that in each case it is associated with sadness and grief. But, as indicated, this is exactly the opposite of the objective, which is to cause pleasure and gratification to the soul.
May God grant that, as we approach the Festival of Our Freedom, including freedom from all that distracts the Jew from serving God wholeheartedly and joyfully, this may also be with you, along with all our people, and that you may be a source of inspiration and strength to your husband, children, grandchildren, and all those around you.