An interesting article came out in the newspaper this week (See note).
The key point of the article is that people no longer know how to choose a partner... they need external help to make it successful.
Different psychologists developed algorithms to find fundamental matches between people, so that when they meet, there is a greater chance that the couple will succeed.
These algorithms are used on different websites, where you leave your data answering the questions (up to 258!!), the company "passes" it through the algorithm which is in charge of finding a suitable partner.
It's amazing how technology and the information age generate tools to solve the problems of modern society. Despite this being a generally hyperconnected society (cell phones, computers with internet, Wi-Fi, etc.), one of the most serious problems is interconnection itself! Young people (and not-so-young people...) struggle to find a partner with whom to start a happy family...
What is the Jewish view on the matter? As we have mentioned many times, Judaism does not preach the abandonment of technology; on the contrary, our sages explain that everything God created in the universe has its reason for being and its usefulness for the service of God.
In the case of shidduchim—matchmaking—there are also many exclusively Jewish websites for finding and matching couples. What's interesting about this new technological development is that it's nothing more than a step backward or a return to the ancient and highly successful millennia-old Jewish system.
How did (and still does in observant Jewish circles) the search for partners work? Very simply: you would go on a date with a girl (or boy, depending on the opposite sex) and talk. You would walk, stroll, and... talk. About what? About life goals, about God, about family—topics that led to getting to know the other person and what they wanted from their life and their spouse. Throughout all this, the couple not only didn't kiss, they didn't even hold hands... And so it went for several dates, until one felt they knew the other person and wanted, or didn't want, to share their life with them. The next step was marriage, or the relationship simply dissolved, as if they had never met.
Today, unfortunately, finding a partner often involves something else entirely... physical appearance takes precedence in every encounter, blinding us to the truly intimate and essential aspects of a person. This can lead to couples marrying without even having a clue (let alone knowing each other...) about the other's real interests.
That's why it's so interesting how the most modern technological resources allow us to bring to the masses a system that seemed to have been forgotten... When a couple meets "electronically", there is no room for physical contact, all there is is a screen with or without a photo, with or without a webcam, and a lot of lines of text.
The point is to learn how to use this system, which does work and has been used for thousands of years, in the appropriate way, and to expand knowledge virtually even when the couple is in practice face to face, in a square, strolling, walking, etc., so that the physical does not overshadow the spiritual.