Oi vaBoi

In this editorial, I'd like to address a simple topic, but, like all simple things, it's sometimes difficult to apply and digest, so to speak. We are all connected to education to varying degrees. Whether it's children, adults, or even strangers, education is primarily achieved through example, something even someone walking down the street can see and perceive, albeit passively. Especially when we talk about parents and children, the primary role of a parent is to educate their children. Obviously, having children is easy, but the real work lies in raising them.

When a parent witnesses inappropriate behavior, they must take action. While it's true that there are instances where silence is appropriate, this doesn't imply the parent condones the behavior. It simply means that, after evaluating the situation and weighing the benefits of speaking up versus remaining silent, it's determined that remaining silent now is more effective in order to speak up later.

In turn, there are systems and methods for educating, applicable to certain circumstances, that warn and encourage reflection in the person being educated without being direct. For example, if a child misbehaves and the parent simply gives them a serious look, while not saying anything, there is a message of disapproval in the gaze. Or, if after a phrase or behavior the parent exclaims,“¡Oi vaBoi!” (whose meaning in Yiddish It would be like a double exclamation saying ¡Hey! And ¡Oi!), although it's not saying much, the content of those words is surprise and disapproval.

Especially when behavior is public, the opportunity to express an opinion certainly cannot be missed. This doesn't mean there won't be other consequences, but the very fact that a child knows what their parent thinks about a matter is extremely important. It's crucial that a parent express their expectations to their children because, otherwise, what right do they have later to reproach them for not doing this or that? ¿When did she tell him she was waiting for him?

This is also seen when a father tells his son, "Behave yourself"; the message is so ambiguous that it is ¡Impossible to fulfill! You must be as specific as possible.

A further step is that, in reality, the son is waiting for his father to fulfill his role. While he may not be consciously aware of it, deep down, he is waiting to be guided. It's as if we were to say that a father is bad for not allowing bad company in his son, or for disapproving of smoking, drinking, or drug use., ¡Because he wakes his son up every morning to go to school! From the son's perspective, the father is being cruel, harsh, creating a prison, and other similar expressions, but any sane person will say that the father is educating his son and, more importantly, fulfilling his role as a father.

Being so close to the 3rd of Tammuz (Tuesday, June 11), the day of the passing of the Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, of blessed memory, is an appropriate time for reflection, for us to think about where we stand in our relationship with the Rebbe, the head and leader of our generation, how we internalize his teachings and use his guidance to get through the dark exile in which we live.