Have you ever heard of the Pareto Principle?click (For more details)? Pareto was an Italian economist who observed that 801% of Italy's income was distributed to 201% of the population. He then analyzed other countries and found a similar pattern.
This statistical principle applies to dozens of different situations, including the business world (80% of sales come from 20% of customers) and human relationships (we spend 80% of our time with the 20% of the people we meet), etc.
There is a particular application of this concept that has a direct relationship with Hasidic philosophy. Statistically speaking, we can say that 20% of life is determined by what happens to us (outside of our control), while the remaining 80% is determined by how we react.
We cannot control a red traffic light, or a plane arriving late, but we can control how we react.
For example: During breakfast, your young daughter accidentally spills a cup of coffee on your work shirt. You have no control over what happened. What happens next depends on your reaction. You get angry with your daughter, you yell at her, she cries. Then you criticize your wife for placing the coffee cup too close to the edge of the table. An argument ensues.
You rush to change your shirt. Your daughter was too busy crying to miss the bus to school. You both quickly get in the car; you're going to have to drive her. Since it's late, you drive fast and get a ticket. Your daughter enters the school without saying hello.
After arriving half an hour late to work, you realize you forgot your briefcase at home... the day couldn't get any worse... when you get home you find your daughter and wife angry with you...
Why? Because of your reaction this morning. What was the main cause of your bad day? You.
You had no control over your daughter spilling her coffee, but you could control your reaction. Those few seconds of yelling and anger determined the rest of your day. If only you had said, "It's okay, honey, it's over now. Try to be more careful next time," the rest of your day would have unfolded differently. Your daughter wouldn't have missed the bus to school, you wouldn't have been late for work, you wouldn't have forgotten things, and so on.
This is just one example of the 80/20 principle. One might ask, where is Hasidism and Torah in this?
There is a fundamental rule that describes one aspect of the workings of the soul (of the human being): by nature, the intellect governs the emotions. The fact that in many cases we see the opposite (as in the example) is because for many years the person has given free rein to their heart to govern their life. But that doesn't mean it's the person's natural state.
As our sages say, righteous men control their hearts, while wicked men are controlled by their hearts.
It is through the study of Torah, particularly the deeper part of Torah, Hasidic philosophy, that we can learn to govern our reactions and thus, as this Pareto Principle states, truly govern the 80% of our lives.