Greetings and blessings:
... I have received your letter in which you describe your opinion and feelings about Judaism, its points of agreement and conflict, etc.
It is not entirely clear from your letter what specific matter you are asking for my advice on, or even if there is one. However, since our sages teach that every Jew is obligated to take an interest in his fellow Jew, even if he is a complete stranger, how much more so in this case, where you wrote to me and opened your heart. Therefore, I consider it my duty, and also a privilege, to reply in that same spirit, which you may, if you wish, accept as advice or a suggestion, or simply consider as my own thoughts expressed aloud.
As an introduction, it is necessary to have a clear understanding of the position that certain movements hold in relation to authentic Judaism. When we examine their principles closely, we can confirm without a doubt that these movements are based on compromise and the renunciation of fundamental principles in favor of expediency, for an easier adjustment to a particular time and place.
The consequence of this attitude is, first and foremost, that when one begins to make concessions and does not adhere to the principles of the inviolability of pure faith and Divine Law, one cannot know how far one might go. Human nature is such that once the principle of compromise in matters of faith is accepted, one is chained to a constant erosion, with ever-increasing frivolity and fewer qualms. Secondly, respect for our religion is undermined, knowing that it can be negotiated; a little here, a little there; and what value and sense of obligation can remain of what is left? Furthermore, self-respect is lost, and upon recognizing the lack of courage and personal weakness to adhere to one's own beliefs or those of one's people, one takes instead a path of least resistance.
Young people, full of energy, determination, and faith, are not naturally inclined to compromise in any area, least of all in matters of high moral character. This explains why most conformists in the social and conventional aspects of life are found among older people. Consequently, young people take their personal convictions much more seriously and are also more susceptible to being negatively affected by them.
Is the younger generation prepared to face the real aspects of life?
Unfortunately, in America, most parents, however well-intentioned, were more concerned with material well-being than spiritual well-being. The reason for this is not hard to find: after the hardships they faced, either as immigrants or as children of immigrants, and having found that religious convictions and principles are often restrictive in a materialistic society, they did their utmost to protect their children from the economic difficulties they themselves had endured. Thus, their primary concern was providing them with careers and professions, or other means of economic security, leaving their children to find their own path regarding matters such as religion and their understanding of the world. However well-intentioned these parents were, the result was always the same: a way of life was fostered where principles were sacrificed for the sake of expediency, where traditions were set aside for material gain, whether real or imagined.
It is not surprising that, following the terrible circumstances that shook the world in general, and the Jewish world in particular, our generation found young men and women utterly unprepared. World wars on an unprecedented scale, followed by economic booms and busts, shattered hopes and aspirations even in the material sphere. In the spiritual realm, the bankruptcy of ideas and ideologies left many young people deeply disillusioned morally and spiritually. A void formed in their minds and hearts that they were unable to fill. The widespread disillusionment and frustration among the younger generation, and also among those not so young, resulted in the ethical, moral, and social ills that are unfortunately well-known and too painful to discuss here.
Fortunately, it is now clear that a new path is emerging among young men and women, and especially among academic youth, who are drawn to the world of ideas and thought. As "Children of the People of the Book," from a holy nation of spiritual essence, they are naturally inclined, at least subconsciously, toward the spiritual. Their disillusionment and dissatisfaction have led them to seek a new way of life that can provide them with a piece of "solid ground" beneath their feet, giving their lives meaning and inner peace.
Some have been fortunate enough to find their place, whether by design or by "accident" (and all is, of course, by Divine Providence), which placed them on the right path. Others, unfortunately, are still wandering in darkness. It is the obligation of the moment and the challenge of our time to help these young men and women find their way back to the "springs of living water" where they can quench their thirst for Life. We in Lubavitch have made this our "occupation," doing everything we can to help them. But this, of course, is the obligation and privilege of every Jew, since the commandment to "love your neighbor as yourself" applies to each and every one of us.
It goes without saying that the transition from one way of life to another is fraught with trials and tribulations. That is why the sooner the critical period is overcome, the better. Determination and commitment are essential, and when these are present (and they certainly are, in potential; they simply need to be brought to the surface), the difficulties will be far less than they initially seemed. Sometimes an initial leap is necessary to sever ties with the past, but then, slowly but surely, moving forward becomes increasingly easier. One should try to shorten the pains of childbirth and transition, and emerge as soon as possible into the new world of Torah and Mitzvot, which holds the key to inner peace, true contentment, and happiness.
From what I've said so far, you can understand my opinion regarding the subject of your letter. You speak of the clash between your original decision to follow what you understand to be the right path and your parents' reaction. But let me tell you that even from the parents' perspective, surely their first and last wish is to see their children happy. Whatever their idea of happiness may be, they certainly understand that without harmony and inner peace, life is very miserable. Looking at the situation from their point of view, if you act under pressure and accept a lifestyle out of compromise with them, it's possible that for a while, friction will be avoided. But we must think in terms of life as a whole, not just the immediate future, and as noted above, and clearly indicated in your letter, this is the kind of life with which you could not reconcile. Sooner or later, your parents will recognize, or instinctively sense, that they have failed in their own objective.
The limitations of a letter do not allow for a more extensive discussion. However, this will be sufficient to present the most important points so you can elaborate on them yourself.
Before concluding, I want to refer to the person you mention in your conversation, whose life serves as a good illustration. As you probably know, he was born and raised, along with the rest of his family, under the communist regime. It seemed impossible, at least in the natural order of things, to escape. One might conclude that the only thing to do under those circumstances was to adapt to the prevailing conditions, especially since the religious minority to which he and his family belonged was not just a minority, but a minority that had been singled out for total persecution by the dictatorial regime and could not be defeated by democratic processes. However, he, his brothers, and his entire family stood firm and made no concessions. Now he and his brothers have established their homes in a free nation, based on the Torah and the mitzvot that were received in their family home even under the communist regime, and today they need not be ashamed of their past.
They understand that the freedom and opportunity they enjoy here and now also impose additional obligations upon them toward their Jewish brothers and sisters. They understand that after such a large portion of our people was brutally annihilated in the Second World War, the obligation of every surviving Jew is all the greater.
What has been said in this letter is a general analysis intended to shed light on the situation and its solution. Regarding the method for carrying it out, this must be decided in light of the personalities involved, as well as the circumstances and various factors. A friendly and cordial approach, coupled with appropriate firmness, is the method and the path of the Torah, and also the most effective method.
With all my best wishes, and with blessings,
(Signature)